My husband says I’m not responsible enough to use his ipad at night.  He says I fall asleep while reading and he doesn’t want me to roll over and break it.  (Note to reader:  He’s more protective of his ipad than he is of me.) 

I’ve never believed my husband’s hogwash about me falling asleep while reading it.  I know he’s just trying to get his piggy little fingers on his own ipad. 

But I learned something last night.  I learned that those ipads are heavier than you think.  I learned this because when I nodded off to sleep, I dropped the ipad right on my nose.  Talk about being hit in the face with the truth!  There's nothing like a hard smack to wake you out of your stupor.  At first I was worried that I broke it.  (My nose, not the ipad.)  So I checked for blood.  All clear.  I looked over at my husband, to make sure he hadn't seen anything.  All clear again.  I slid the ipad safely onto my night table, then rolled over to try to fall back asleep, being careful not to roll onto my nose. 

But in the morning, I couldn’t keep the secret.  The black and blue mark was, well, as plain as the nose on my face.  So, with my tail between my legs, I confessed to my husband. 

He was just as comforting as I had expected.  He laughed heartily and said, “You think that was bad, the new ipads are even heavier.  That’s why you shouldn’t get your own.  But don’t worry, they’re developing a new app to protect people like you.  It’s called ipad airbag.  As soon as they start making ipads with airbags, we’ll buy you one of your own.” 

Now I’ve been delegated to reading only the Kindle at night.  (It weighs less, and my husband doesn't care if I break it, as it's an old one.)   (Note to self: when I do someday pry the ipad out of my husband’s grubby little hands, I’ll make sure to read with the ipad tilted AWAY from my face… and probably towards his.) 

Addendum (added one month later):  Finally, for my husband's birthday, we bought ME an ipad.  The old, lighter version.  So now, my husband can have his ipad all to himself at night.  Also, if I do break my ipad, he can still say, "I told you so," but he can't get mad at me for it. I thought it was a pretty good birthday gift, all in all.  I can't wait to see what we get him for his birthday next year.